People should grow up and help themselves. They should. For most point I have been doing just that and been quite good at doing so. But people have their own weakness and at some point they will need help. Help is something I would be grateful to have right now but unfortunately it’s nowhere in sight.
Being a mesomorph means I should always look out on not eating too much and moving more. But it has been tough working hard to finish my degree. Moving forward to graduation means dealing with a lot of deadlines and sleepless nights. By the end of the day, I would just want to stuff myself with food and go to sleep. Now, my feet and legs get strained easily from walking and moving around. Most of my clothes won’t fit anymore. Flabs are all over my body. I’m haunted by that outrageous mark I got on the weighing scale two weeks ago. It’s devastating to just realize how stuffed I have myself become for months now.
Two years after going back to school, I’m 5 kilos shy of my weight during high school (which was by far my heaviest). I have tried many things to get back in shape but nothing has worked and it is easy to just slip back on a couch.
Working with tutees for hours is easier than pushing myself to move. It’s boring to walk alone. It’s hard to cut back on food intake. Working with students for hours is easier than disciplining myself into managing my weight.
Somehow I wish David lived just next door and would come knock at our door at 9pm to say “C’mon Abby! Let’s go!”
I wish I could jog for hours again. I know I could. But I need a LOT of help.